TUNA NEWS -- JULY 25, 2003

Dana's Delusions of Grandeur "I am your guardian angel" (Told to the Stooges) "I didn't know what a big impact this would have" "Nate has no one now. Nate will come to us." "If we (dark side) win HOH five straight weeks, it will be a world record." "I am playing the game like an adult" "I checked my heart at the fucking Marriot before I entered the game." Suicide is Painless Earlier in the evening Dave had taken Ali's stuffed Elephant and they were running through the house. Dave had grabbed an electric razor and threatened the elephant. Later that night Ali found her elephant in the bathtub. Sitting next to the toaster. She screams at Dave, "Electrocution is not in anymore!" Keep Your Butt Down, Soldier Last night Ali spent a lot of time on her hands and knees (I know where y'all are going with this so stop it!) crawling on the floor unseen so she could listen at the HOH door. Better watch for carpet burns, there, honey. Evidently it was quite comical to see Ali crawling around. She and Nate played with BB a bit, telling BB that Ali is the assassin and "if their cover is fixin' to be blown, please BB send Ali to the diary room." He says "we're getting shot by traitors in every direction." So Ali crawls around, but hears someone moving in HOH and runs back to Nathan. Nate asks "where was our Mayday??" They both laugh hysterically and Nate speaks directly to his mic "You about blew it for us! We'll try again in a few minutes. All birds are in the nest. I repeat, All birds are in the nest." Pots and Kettles Ali calls Dana and Justin "Mantroll and Midget" Jun calls Ali a kleptomaniac Jee calls Nate and Ali racist. Ali says if Nate wins veto, she is going to stand on a chair and say "I'm off, you fucking bitch!" Interesting.... Justin was telling Dana that Robert (and maybe Justin...we're unsure here) got into big trouble with BB. Dana asked Justin what happened and he said he didn't want to talk about it. She kept pressing him for information and he said that "he said something and they didn't like it" and he got into alot of trouble because it was in the big BB rule book. There is speculation that this is regarding the Stooges discussing splitting the final prize money. Not So Interesting Jee continues to explain to his fellow morons that the tiny clicks they hear are people on the internet taking still shots through the BB camera. Even more amazing? Nobody corrects him. Fastest FOH in the West Dana is sick of the cameras in the shower, so she starts singing. FOH! Erika says Julie Chen is dating Les Moonves. FOH! HG speculate on the location of sequesterville. FOH! I'm for World Peace Dave asks Ali about the Miss PA pageant. She says she was supposed to do it this year. She says next year is her last year of eligibility. She says for the Miss America pageant, you can't have done anything immoral, like having a man stay overnight -- things she has already done. Bathroom Humor Dave put the toaster in the bathtub, he said "There! Now Dana can take a bath." Ali says if she is going to get evicted, she is going to pee in the toilet and float the ducks in it. Final Quote When Ali saw Dave, she asked where her elephant was. Dave told her "last time I saw it, it was making some toast."