TUNA NEWS -- SEPTEMBER 2, 2003

It's the Tuesday morning Post-Labor Day Hangover, Praise Allah TinyTuna finally started 4th Grade (up at 6am thank you) edition of the TunaNews. Did anything exciting happen while we were all busy doing anything else remotely worthwhile? Lets swim over and see! TV Clubhouse No names allowed Robert and Jee resume the conversation of people who have no names. Robert tells Jee his girl is going to be proud of him. Jee knows. Robert tells Jee she will be proud of “her man”. When did using names go out of style? The important things in Life When Jee leaves the house he will never take things for granted again. Love? Family? World Peace? Hell no. Jee lists using his cell phone and using an ATM. All You Need is Motivation Back to the ever-popular topic of “self-love”. Ali says she cannot “bring herself” to do it. Erika says she is the best lover she’s ever had. Jun asks Ali, could she do it if it were in front of a guy? Ali says yes, then she could do it. Jun the Therapist Jun asks Jee what’s wrong. Jee says he’s cool. Jun tells Jee he is moody. She asks “why are you so moody today? You got your period? Jee says no. Calling Dr. Thesaurus Jee demonstrates his lack of varied vocabulary. He is tired of the fucking house. He’s given sixty fucking days of his fucking life and wants it to be fucking over. He says BB doesn’t give a fuck about them. He says the house is fucking horrible, and he’s tired of feeling like a fucking animal in this fucking house. He says BB better give him a fucking phone when he gets out of this fucking place. He says he isn’t moody about leaving (?!!!), but he just fucking wants to leave. He has fucking different goals than people in this house. Shit, this isn’t fucking what he wants, but he just wants to fucking get home. He doesn’t want to sound ungrateful or negative (Thank God!) but he’s tired of the bullshit. Jun reminds him that he signed up for this, and maybe he should go to the DR to talk about it. Jee says he isn’t going to the fucking DR. He will never go to the fucking DR and see the fucking psychiatrist. He says he has Robert to talk to. No wonder he’s in such bad shape. Twisted Logic Jun says Erika doesn’t need the money it if she has fake tits. Jee says he doesn’t lie. He tells fibs. Jun says when Scott was in the house she took all the knives and hid them in the HOH room because she was worried he was flipping out. Joker’s Updates Jee, The International Player Jun teases Jee about being an international player. Jun and Jee split for awhile when Jee was about 17, and he dated a Chinese girl before coming back to Jun. True or False The girls discuss the fact that they have not had a true/false HOH competition yet. Jun says “True or False. Michelle was born with only half a brain.” The girls giggle. Very Jun “You guys called yourselves the Dream Team. How gay is that?” Fond Memories What do Hamsters do when they’re bored? They rip on Dana! Erika tells Alison she did the house the biggest favor by getting rid of the mantroll. Jun calls Dana a crack whore. Erika remembers starting a conversation with Dana “Welcome to the Desert Room. I’m Erika and this is Jack.” Erika says she started her conversations with “I am not campaigning, but .” Jun the Emotional Voter Jun tells Jee who deserves and does not deserve the BB money prize. Jun says If Erika needed the money she shouldn't got fake tits. Jun says Ali is spoiled rotten. Jun is upset that Ali constantly manipulates people and uses her sexuality. Jun says “That's not what fucking women have fought for, for the last hundred years (I would think that fucking women would think sexuality is job #1). Jun doesn’t like it that Ali uses her body in flirtatious ways to get shit. Jun says Ali’s dad can pay for her fucking law school. To continue this twisted logic, Jun says Robert is the black sheep of the family, he hasn't done shit with his life and now he has a kid and I'd rather he pay for his daughters life then have these two bitches get the money. Parting shots Jun “Technically it isn’t a girl vs. boy thing. It’s cool people vs. lame people.”