TUNA NEWS -- AUGUST 24, 2003

Weekend Roundup from Other Boards That I Didn't Even Read HONNNNKKbert Robert is vile. Robert looks vile. Robert acts vile. Robert picks at every crevice and orifice of his body. Robert claims he is "nervous" on TV. I claim he is plain old disgusting. Pick pick poke poke scratch scratch flick flick. Gross. We All Scream at the Dream Team Robert and Jee are here to pump *clap* themselves up. They are strong. They are invincible. They are the Dream Team!! Maybe they're Helen Reddy. No team has been greater. No team has been more well loved. All of America loves the team. Teeming throngs of girls will teem the team. Teeming throngs of thongs will teem the team. Girls will sing songs to the team. Girls with lisps will thing thongs to the team. Sing songs, thing thongs, Teeming thongs throng the team. Dreaming songs throng the dream. Others only dream the dream, but this team dreams the dream team dream. Dr. Seuss would be proud, But he's not on the team. JustJack Jack is smooth. Jack is smart. Jack is witty and he never falls apart. Jack is loved. Jack is neat. Jack stands a long time on Jack's two feet. Under the radar Jack does go. Will he ever win a competition? Unfortunately, no. Ali and Jun and Erika Three eggs, scrambled. They tend to roll around on the plate from side to side, and are very cheesy and served with extra ham. Jee Can't you see he's honorable? He never speaks badly about anybody else. Except that goddamn Jun is bitch. And Ali is a two-faced liar. And Erika can't be trusted. But Jee? He is honorable. And good. The girls? He has no respect for the girls. They are bitches. But he never speaks badly about anybody else. Oh, and it's just a game. He had to do it. Or else somebody else would. It's just a game, don't you understand? The girls are bitches. But you didn't hear it from Jee. Except you did. Alot. They didn't say it, but they probably did Jee "Fucking bitches. No fucking respect. I have honor. Not like these fuckingfuckgirls. My girl is my girl. My girl my girl girl girl fucking my girl fuckingwonderful. Robert "HONNNNNNNNNNNkkkkkk. Dream team! Dream team! Dream team! Chicks dig us! Dream team! Dream team! Dream team! Little blue pills all night long. Dream team! Nobody loves us more than us!" Ali "The twist is they are going to give me a car. NO. The twist is they are going to kick me out. NO. The twist is Dana is going to come back and murder me. NO. The twist is I deserve letters from home and food and attention twenty-four hours a day. NO. The twist is Julie Chen will realize I'm most photogenic and will declare me the winner. NO. The twist is.... Jun " w h i s p e r w h i s p e r w h i s p e r w h i s p e r w h i s p e r w h i s p e r w h i s p e r w h i s p e r w h i s p e r w h i s p e r w h i s p e r w h i s p e r " Jack "I understand how everybody thinks and works in this house. If I could only win a competition, I'd have a chance." Erika "Jack... *sniff* ... Dave ... *sniff* ... Turtles *sniff* ... My poor pink hat .... *SOB*****