TUNA NEWS -- AUGUST 10, 2004

Tuna News -- Tuesday style. Today it's served with extra cheese just for Jase and Cowboy, who were spreading it pretty thick yesterday. What happened post-Veto ceremony? Check it out! DEEP THOUGHTS FROM COWBOY Cowboy to Drew: "We're the splittin' image of each other!" Cowboy, as he complains about Scott: "We're just ventilating!" Cowboy, on Cowboy: "This was a chance for me to sew my royal oats." Cowboy, on BB5: "How many people plied to be on this show?" PLEASE DON'T FEED THE DELUSIONS Jase tells Cowboy that if they made Toy Story into a real movie, Cowboy would be Woody and Scott would be Buzz Lightyear. BIG HOUSE 'O PLAGUES Cowboy stands outside in the backyard and stares at a big bug. He says it must be a locust. It makes sense...Big Brother house and plagues. DA BOMB Cowboy and Jase talk publicity and head shots. Jase asks Cowboy if he has had any head shots taken. Cowboy says yes, but then clarifies, "Well, it's a high school picture that's the bomb!" R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means to Me Cowboy piles a heapin' helpin' of guilt on Drew after the veto ceremony. In his speechifying, Cowboy uses the word "Honor" like its his word-of-the-day. Drew needs to learn honor. If Cowboy goes out, he goes out with his honor. Cowboy would rather go down with his boys, fighting with honor. Finally (and inexplicably) Cowboy says, "Honor like when the 4 horsemen make bets on his wife's weight." Huh? YOU CAN'T DANCE...DON'T ASK ME Cowboy, the moonwalking King of Delusia, approaches Natalie again and asks him if she can teach him hip-hop dancing. Natalie says it's not hard. Cowboy asks about the "handstands and stuff" and later asks about the "flips and stuff". No answer. Maybe Cowboy is looking for another career on Soul Train. Or as a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. COWBOY AS A HALLMARK CARD WRITER "Don't take life for granted." "Live day by day." "Money isn't everything." COWBOY AS A COUNTRY-WESTERN SINGER "I've been hurt all my life and lied to all my life. That's why I believe in you." "I'm a poor country boy. I've made it half-way. I need the cash." JASE AND THE *CLUNG*-ING ANVIL OF "DUH" Jase says if he can manage not to be sequestered, he can do a lot of promotion and jump-start his career. *CLUNG* Jase says he can walk out of this house with fame and popularity. *CLUNG* Jase wants people to think he's funny and crazy. (Half right!) *CLUNG* Jase faked his application tape, pretending he was in Decatur, Illinois. *CLUNG* Jase faked a fireman scene on his application tape. *CLUNG* Jase says if he could do it over again, he wouldn't vote out The Don *CLUNG* because he and The Don were both Air Force Guys *CLUNG*CLUNG* and he would have voted out Scott instead *CLUNG*CLUNG*CLUNG* GET OUT OF JAIL FREE Jase and Cowboy talk about living in the house. Jase says, "This is jail. A nice jail, but still it's jail." RIDING THE BITTER BUS Jase tells Drew, "If you and Diane get married, don't even let me know." READ BETWEEN THE LINES As Cowboy interrogates Drew for the hundredth time, Drew finally says, "At this point there is nothing I can say that you will understand any better." WE CAN ONLY HOPE Jase tells Karen he wants to be voted out now so he won't be sequestered. Karen says she understands. Jase says if he gets sequestered, he'll just sit and rot for six weeks, and everyone will forget about him. GREAT COMEBACKS Jase: "Cowboy, you deserve the money." Cowboy: "I know." Jase: "You're not supposed to say 'I know' you arrogant bastard! You're supposed to say 'Thank you, that's nice.'"