TUNA NEWS -- AUGUST 4, 2004

Here it is, The Tuna News for August 4, 2004. All the comings and goings and ridiculous happenings in the Big Brother House, stirred, not shaken for your enjoyment. What mind-boggling silliness happened overnight? Let's see... SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE The good people club decide for the 89th time to evict Scott. Will proclaims getting rid of him will "teach him a life lesson." THE WEATHER FORECAST -- MOSTLY SUNNY While Scott and Cowboy put the screws to Karen for vote information, Scott declares he is the "least shady person in the house." CALLING BEELZEBUB Scott tells Karen Scott says that if he stays or goes -- they are unleashing a demon. Feeling he needs to belabor the point, he tells Karen that Adria just took off the mask and showed the devil. Next up...Danielle's devil horns. AGAIN WITH THE NIPS? Karen and Nakomis discuss their frustration with the game, particularly with Adria who keeps changing her mind. Karen asks Nakomis if she believes her (Adria). Nakomis trots out the holy oracle of Nips (Ass flavored, not Cheese flavored), and says, "I believe her. You have to trust some people in this game. If you end up getting nipped in the ass, you end up getting nipped in the ass." LOOKS LIKE I PICKED THE WRONG WEEK TO STOP SMOKING Nakomis has stopped smoking and gone for the patch. As she and Karen sit in the hot tub, Karen says, "Nik, I'm not happy." Nakomis says, "not happy does not begin to express what I am." Marvin comes over to the hot tub, complaining, "everyone is acting like it's a MFwake around here." Karen says no, that she is just tired. Nakomis says, "I have a nicotine patch on my ass." HISTORY....LEARNING....REPEATING Discussion abounds about cold sores. The Hamsters are somewhat repulsed to see Jase swigging wine straight out of the bottle when he has a cold sore. Jase counterattacks by claiming Scott has herpes and that's why he won't drop trou. Diane, most incorrectly says no...BB would never let anyone in the house with an STD. OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOUR MYSTERY DATE Jase continues to campaign for evicting Marvin over Scott. Jase tells Karen and Will that Marvin's plan is to take out all the girls. Jase says he personally will take out Scott himself. I think Jase misunderstood, because when Marvin takes out all the girls, he wants to ... you know ... take out all the girls. WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? Scott holds court, complete with his feet all over the table. He shares Stuart Smiley-style that one of the things he got out of being in the house was reading the Bible. He says it has "interesting stuff" in there (God: "Thanks, Bro. It's a best seller, ya know.") He thanks Cowboy for showing him the way, the truth and the light. Evidently he hasn't quite gotten to Leviticus yet, because I'm sure there are several chapters about keeping ones skanky feet off the furniture. US TOO A snippet of DR conversation is heard when Scott walks inside. BB says, "Scott, how you doing?" Scott replies, "Just counting my days, man." POINT / COUNTERPOINT Diane: I'm still going to put you on the block in 2 weeks when I get HOH. Drew: How are you going to do that when you're gone next week? I CAN'T DANCE...DON'T ASK ME Cowboy says his friends like to take him out dancing so they can laugh at him. THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR Cowboy says although they may have their arguments, everyone in the house is there for each other. Cowboy predictably adds, "I think we are the best cast." I have to say, I'll fall over in amazement the day someone says, "You know, I don't think we're that hot. BB2 was really the best cast. We kinda suck. THIS EXPLAINS A LOT Cowboy espouses his love for the Clairol Herbal Essence shampoo commercials. He says, "I love that commercial....in the courtroom..." Eww. I LIKE CAKE Adria asks Scott if it was really his birthday last week. She thinks it is odd because he didn't get a cake from BB. Scott claims he didn't want to make a big deal out of it, and then asks Adria why she wanted to know. Adria does a BIG shout-out to ... lots of people ... and says, "I like birthday cake." AND MONKEYS MIGHT FLY OUT OF MY BUTT Cowboy worries about Scott leaving. Cowboy says, "But you will come to the Finale?" Scott says, "Yeah, but I might meet some girl. You never know what is going to happen. WHO'S ON FIRST Jase: Who are we voting out? I'm down with the posse. Adria: Who are you voting? Jase: I'm down with the posse. Adria: Who are you voting? Jase: Marvin is where I'm at. How about you? Adria: What's my other choice? Jase: So what are we voting? ****silence**** Jase: I just threw mind out there to be fair. ****silence**** That's Enough! Take Me Back To GreenTuna