TUNA NEWS WEEKEND EDITION -- JULY 11, 2005

It was a weekend of not-a-whole-lot-going-on. Did that stop our intrepid hamsters from being stupid? Never!! ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE Janelle: If you get sent home, then I'm going home in two weeks Ashlea: At least when we go home we will finally get pedicures. A HOWIE A DAY.... Howie: "Janelle needs to stop beautifying herself. She looks like a candy bar that needs the wrapping ripped right off." Howie: (Seeing Janelle and Kaysar playing chess) "Who would have thought that? The Muslim Virgin and the hot blonde! This will be our first hookup!!" Howie: "When girls won't give me attention and acting like they don't want me, that's how I know they DO want me!" Howie: "I've had all kinds of women. Afro-American black women...." Sarah: "There is only so much Howie I can take at one time!!" INTRODUCING: IVETTE Strong, Latino, opinionated...Ivette will tell you the story and keep telling it until you agree with her. For hours and hours and hours, if that's what it takes. Ivette: "I still say college is an overrated waste of time, and there is nothing you can say that will make me change my mind." Ivette: "Howie likes to experience the "boofay" (meaning a "buffet of women"), but nobody will want someone who has had the boofay. Ivette: "You'll know when I can't stand you. I can't relate to people who are wishing hell on me." I'VE GOT A SECRET So much for the summer of secrets.... James and Eric talk about pairs. Eric tells Maggie they have to "keep their cover." James tells Sarah, "I think there might be seven couples!" BB6 JOKE-A-DAY CALENDAR Howie (Who else?): "What do you call a hooker with one leg?" Ivette: "Why does it have to be a hooker?" Howie: "Who wants to hear a joke about a non-hooker?" TALK ABOUT COMING IN IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION Eric Eats An Entire Half of a Watermelon Beau Thinks That an Antelope is the Same Thing as a Moose GREAT COMEBACKS Mike: Lisa (BB3) was a home-type beautiful. Howie: I'd still bang her. Mike: Yeah, but you'd bang a toadstool. Sarah: I really don't want to spend the night in that room with those 3 girls. James: You might learn something Sarah: Like how to be a bimbo... PARTING SHOTS April, drunk, puts on a pair of sunglasses and burps loudly. Eric exclaims, "She's turned into a Texas Truck Driver after one beer!"