TUNA NEWS -- JULY 31, 2003

But it's better than mesh The Hamsters spend a huge amount of time cutting up and cursing out their outfit for tomorrow's food competition. Nobody likes it (but nobody likes anything) and as expected, it's a royal bitch session. Dana "it's going to make my ass look saggy." Jee "Make it open to your belly button and show your ass crack." Dana and Jun say it makes someone look like a gay guy in jail. Jun tells Dana "you want it to be less penitentiary like." Stooges say it looks gay. They look like fruit loops and douche bags. Jun ain't no dummy All in a conversation with Ali.... "I am not the brains, but I am the level-headed one." "Everyone is a threat in their own way." "Everyone is really playing for themselves." "I would like to be seen as one who goes back and forth." BB Double Jeopardy Round The Answer is...Because there aren't enough blind and deaf men in this world. Question Why aren't Dana and Jun married yet? You can Quote me on that Erika "This is starting to P me O" (alphabet game, anyone?) Dana "Anyone could go in there and manipulate her. Even I could go in and pucker my lips...." Nate "Timberlake don't have nothing on me. Brittany is gonna come calling...." Nate "I'm not going to sleep with the hyenas." In Memoriam Jack "What do you suppose Dave is doing tonight? Ali "Having sex." Smoked Jee Robert and Justin convene a meeting of the mutual admiration society. They saved Jee! He should appreciate it that they are around! The others would have betrayed him! They don't mind doing Jee's dirty work! They say Jee is funny! Jee must have friends! Just must have tons of friends! Are they on crack? I will name him "George" It seems the boys name their bongs. Yeah, I know. Justin says his friends named theirs "Darth Vader". Jee says he and Jun (!) named their bong "Big Red". Justin says one of his bongs is named "Cal Ripken." I'm wondering if Justin has a matched set. What Would Martha Stuart Do? Like Cattle Branding? Jee says he "wanted to leave his mark" on all his women. He wanted to carve his name on them with a knife. To their credit, Robert, Justin and Dana think that's ridiculous. You can quote me Jee says he wants to get really stoned when he gets out of the house. Dana says "Well, it won't take much. One hit and you'll be like retarded."