TUNA NEWS -- AUGUST 2, 2003

Logic, Dana Style "I told them if she (Ali) stays, I go out...If she's here, I go. It's crazy. "Everyone wanted me out because they knew what I would do." "You (Justin) don't even want to be here." "I know I have said bad stuff, but you (Jun) have said worse." (This said directly to Jun) "Why not give a twist now? They are getting rid of one of the two most important people here." *This* is what we get to recap Jee: "How often do you poo?" Justin: "I don't. I just burn it up." Jee: "Better if you poo once a day, like me." Dana: "...once every three days" Justin: "Crazy." Gonna Make This Garden Grow Dana and Justin scream that they saw Nate's "little red garden tomatoes." Nate responds in his usual Gomer Pyle "Golllllleeeeeey" What's in a Name Dana "I liked the name 'Nathan' until I came here. Jun "I liked the name 'Evan' until that fucking Joe Millionaire. Dana "I loved the name Justin, but now I'm scarred for life.... Bartlett's Book of Quotations Justin "I can be your vocal punching bag whenever you want. Nate "I want a visit from Brittany Spears." Jun "Everyone of us has some gay tendencies." Dana "I can't believe this game can continue without me." Jack "I just round my edges when talking politics. I just listen" Dana "He (Justin) turns me on and I say great, thanks for nothing." The Incredible Miss Ali Ali thought the song "Macarena" was Cuban because she heard it in a Cuban restaurant. Maybe it was a Chili's Restaurant. No, wait, it can't be Chili's because Cubans don't eat chili (thanks, Robert) Ali said she was a mess post-Justin, and now here he is, living in the house with her. She says she was even a mess (over Justin) in her first BB interview. Ali says she teaches old people how to lift weights. Then she shows Jun...how to lift weights. Ali says she would have won the Miss Pennsylvania pageant this year. Or next year. Jun is Boobilicious Jee tells Jun she has nice boobs. Jun says she wishes they were higher...she wants to "lift them". Am Not! Are So! Nate: I'm straight! I'm not gay! I like women! Jee I think I'm extremely manly. Why are you pointing at me? I *have* a girlfriend. Jun It's called a beard, Jee. Did Not! Did Too! Ali says *again* that she didn't make out with Dave. Nate says he told the DR that she *did* make out with Dave. Ali relates a story about her boyfriend who took a high school girl to prom, and then lied about it. Ali says he has pulled a bunch of shit, and she can't believe she "took him back". Well, it's one way to take the weight off Jun says she is so horny, she can't wait until sequesterville. It's a month and a half free vacation and then she'll fuck her fucking ass off. The Plan The Stooges agree that Dana will go unanimously, except for one sympathy vote from Justin. I always thought unanimous was an all-or nothing proposition. Can you be voted out 82% unanimously? Anyway. They aren't going to tell Dana until Tuesday after the vote, because they don't want to clean up bat-shit the rest of this week. Justin says if Dana is still psycho in sequesterville, he's dropping her. Ooo. Evicted twice. It's evil and I like it. Parting Shots Nate thinks Julie Chen is beautiful. He loved her black halter top last Wednesday. Nate tells Ali he hung out with Justin a lot in the hotel before the show. They would get in trouble for talking too much. Nate says before the show he thought Honnkbert was a dork. He still does. Dana "Justin is too short. He has fucked up ears...there is lots of things I don't like about him."