TUNA NEWS -- AUGUST 5, 2003

If You're an Asshat and you know it, Honk your nose (HONNNNNK) Robert has become the chairman of the sour grapes society. Pretty amazing, considering he hasn't been nominated, he holds veto power, and he hasn't been fatally maimed in his sleep, despite the fact that he is a raging asshat. He finds much to complain about, to whomever will listen. His topics include "Erica lies", "Erika only cares about getting more TV time" and he hates the new game BB gave them ("Big deal, so we're playing the world") What's in a Game Recappers (moi included) had one hell of a time trying to figure out what the new game was. In our pathetic defense, it was impossible to see because they played it on the kitchen table and it was blocked by the lazy Susan. Word has it now from several informed sources that it is called Quoridor. Some guesses from last night included "checkers, chess, Parcheesi, Jenga, and (my personal favorite) "A game you might play while you wait for your food at a truck stop (tm Stinkyhalf - TV Clubhouse) Back to Useless Cramming Seconds vs. Minutes (2 minutes, 46 seconds) -- How old is Dana -- Difference between oldest and youngest -- Colors -- 'Breads and Cereals' were orange -- who got the most and the least -- number of HG who haven't won any competitions -- Final Words Jee "When I get home, it will be a girlie-fest" Ali "When I go out with friends, and we don't meet any boys, we go to my house and spoon in a single bed." Jack "As much as Justin slobbers all over her (Dana) he wants to vote her out. The history of the game is if you hook up, you're doomed. You don't want to be sleeping with somebody." Jun "She (Dana) eats with her mouth open. I could never eat that way...my mother would smack me upside the head." Robert "This is women stuff...don't stress about it." Jee "You can't get involved in this female woman shit. I just want this week to be over." Erika asks Dana if she has beat Justin yet (at Quoridor). Dana says no. Justin says "she never thinks a move ahead." True. True. Meet you at the Quoridor More speculation on the game. Someone says the hamsters were given the game last year too. I don't remember that. Current HG excitedly speculate they will be playing the UK BB cast, but don't realize the UK edition of BB has already ended. Spider Fights The HG found another spider and put it in the web with Buddy (their "pet" spider). The two spiders fought it out, and it has been reported that Buddy "sustained a leg injury". Of course, it's just a flesh wound. Super Duper Secret Alliance That Everybody Knows About Jun and Jee have a brief discussion. Jun tells Jee she knows that Jee honors the Stooge alliance more strongly than their super-secret alliance of two. Jee says yeah. Jun tells him "I assume, though, that it will be you and me when the numbers are there." Jee doesn't understand. Jee be dumb. Jee asks "what do you mean the numbers? Final four?" Jun tells him "five". Jee says ok. Calling Emily Post Robert expounds on his "5 years-marry or break up" rule. Ali wonders if she should wear a bra with a tank top. Stooges, Amigos, yada yada yada Jack, Erika and Nate have named the Stooges the "Three Amigos". They speculate who has the most power, and there is some disagreement as to whether it is Robert or Justin. Erika feels Robert is the smooth talker and manipulator and the holder of the power. Nate disagrees and says Justin holds the power. Nate says Robert is starting to believe Justin is nuts. Jack says Justin needs to go and "beat the shit out of Robert. Nate swears he will not go to the Dark Side. His goal is to last longer than Robert and Justin.