TUNA NEWS -- AUGUST 7, 2003

Jee-Whiz Jee is called to the DR. He says he has to run to the WC first. Other Hamsters start yelling at him, telling him what to say. Jack says "say nice things about me, Jee." Ali says "tell them I am not a flirt." Jee says "I am always so boring in there because I am so damn respectful. That's why they never call me, or they call me last." Jee? I don't buy the self-depreciating strategy. Dana's Gone. Ali takes Over What is it with these girls?? There is so much communal smoke-blowing happening, it's amazing that Ali and the Stooges aren't levitating around the room. Ali starts pushing the Stooges hard to evict Jack. She tells them that Jack holds that group together (keep in mind "that" group is or was "her" group). She says "it freaks me out that I am calling the games and that I know what they are." She tells Justin that the HoH competition was tailor-made for Justin, and she knows they (BB) want him to stay. Jun's Fantabulous Wardrobe! Jun raves to Ali and Nate about how her wardrobe is absolutely fabulous. She says "this (BB clothes) is not even a dent of my wardrobe! I have a ton of clothes! My closet is awesome! It's color coordinated." (Yes....red clothes that are too small, blue clothes that are too small, purple clothes that are too small....) She tells them when she goes clubbing her wardrobe gets her in because she is so cute. Well, I knew it couldn't have been for her sparkling personality. Erika visits HoH Erika regrettably has to go visit Justin. She asks him "what am I supposed to say?" Justin says "say whatever you're gonna do." Erika says "I play it straight. I will not use the veto." Justin says "you are ok." Erika says "I basically know who you are going for, but I hate to see Jack go up." Justin says "I can't put up Ali." They agree not to discuss their convo with others. JeeGor Jee has turned into JeeGor, Justin's humpbacked nasty assistant. They have put a 5-minute limit on all HoH visitors. Jee escorts the visitors in and tells them when they have to leave. Later this evening he will be out back, digging up a body to bring to the laboratory. More regrettable quotes Jee "I like it when girls get buzzed early...I had options when I was single." Justin "I thought Amanda was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen, but she was clumsy as hell. It's a turn-off." Jun "I hope she (Dana) is calm and happy now." Robert "I don't wait in line (at restaurants and clubs, etc.). I call ahead and make demands, and they do it because I have the balls to call them and tell them "we will spend money. We are from BB and we are bringing beautiful girls." Nate "We're on the outside looking in, Jack." Jack "On my tombstone it will read 'He never won HoH.'" Robert "We are the dream team. We are still here. We can be ask cocky as we wanna be. We are guaranteed 2 more weeks." Make that 80,001 Jun complains that Dana said she had OCD about 80,000 times. It's always Dana, Dana, Dana! Hamsters speculate whether Dana had family there to greet her tonight. Jee says it's good TV (I hate that line. If it were good TV, most of you would be gone) to have family to greet you. Jun thinks there would be no family, because they could whisper to you and tell you things. Robert thinks Dana is partying and having a great time. To make this week a little more palatable, I would have loved, loved, LOVED to hear the primal scream from Dana. What the fuck is this!? This isn't Cancun...I'm pissed awwwwwwf!!!!! ...And World Peace Jun tells Ali America loves her. She says Julie Chen asks her a question every week. She tells Ali that when she's on TV she puts on her "pageant face". Sign on the Dotted Line Ali talks about the day she signed her BB contract. Her dad told her if she needed to kiss somebody to get farther in the game, go ahead. She says Donny was really upset and started crying. Justin starts laughing and calls Donny a faggot. A Campaign Promise Worth Remembering Jack goes into HoH to meet with the Stooges. He tells them "Remember guys, if you're ever in trouble, I can get you out of jail." Expiration Date? Now Ali tells Jee that Nate really isn't her friend anymore. She says he was, but "then he turned gay." Nate Bashing, Part 125 Justin says Nate is head honcho in his town. Robert says "that shit doesn't work out here." Justin says you can tell Nate has 3 sisters. He's got the emotions of a fucking girl. He's a girl in a guy's body. Ali says he's gay. Jee says Nate was flirting with him. Ali says she feels she was Nate's "decoy." I Love Jack Jack and Erika find out the Stooges call themselves "The Dream Team." Jack says "You know, you get so high, the fall is murderous." Erika mentions that Jee has been fairly tough in competition but Robert has been weak. Jack agrees and says "Robert is wrapped around Justin's balls." And this is News? Ali says she has to be the center of attention. She needs a guy who will put her on a pedestal. She says she and Donnie have had issues of trust, and he has cheated on her "five or six times." Ali thinks he is being unfaithful to her while she is in the BB house. This is a pedestal??