TUNA NEWS -- AUGUST 25, 2004

It's the Wednesday edition of the TunaNews. The place where all your BB information is tossed into a blender and served with a slice of lemon. Before we get to today's dribble, The TunaNews must make a correction regarding a previous post and the apparent mix-up of OSU and OU. Cowboy and the championship football team represented the great institution of OU. GO OU!! Apologies to all those Oklahoma fans on either side of the interstate. As one who constantly has to hear about that nasty school down the road that likes to call itself THE University of Mitten, I know how old that can get. That being said, let's see what mischief those hamsters were up to yesterday. A BUG'S LIFE In an effort to alleviate the crushing boredom of the house, the hamsters decide to torture bugs. They catch a dragonfly, tie a string around it for a leash, and parade it around the house as their "pet." They drag it into the Diary Room, and also put it on Diane's back to scare her. Not surprisingly, the dragonfly...dies. Cowboy attempted to save it by putting a damp paper towel over it, but evidently wet smothering was not exactly therapeutic. TINY BUBBLES In an effort to give the hamsters something to do that doesn't death, BB gives them bubbles. The HGs are less than thrilled with this gift, saying they'd rather have beer. They wonder if Play-Doh is next. SEQUESTER INFORMATION Karen says that she has learned that the evicted hamsters are not allowed to talk about the game with the other losers, er...evicted hamsters. The outcasts will only be allowed to see competitions while in the sequester house. THE YOUNG AND THE HEARTLESS The hamsters are given the opportunity to see Marvin's big Y&R scene (or so we imagine, based on fish and the conversation that followed). The twins remember that Scott said he was a pool boy, and they wonder if he would still be a pool boy if he went on Y&R. One of the twins comments, "That was the most country club type gym I've ever seen." Nakomis admits, "I don't know what I would have done on that show. Is there a tattoo parlor nearby?" WE'LL GET RIGHT ON THAT If it's 4:30, it must be time for Cowboy to be an actor. He says he wants to do a movie with Julia Roberts. Ever the magnanimous thespian, he says he would be in any move she would want him to be in, so producers..."hook me up!" TWO WORDS: "SHUT UP" If it's Tuesday it must be time for the twins to start badmouthing someone. Today's victim is Drew...and everybody else. Drew is scared. Drew is childish. Natalie says, "Two words: Twenty-Two." Damn that Drew for being twenty-two. Now the twins go after everybody else. People talk bad about production when they should be thankful they have this opportunity. People in the house are immature. It's worse than college days. It's a diaper fest. It's high school. They say they feel like they're stuck in teenville with teenyboppers. DUELING DUMMIES Cowboy: (after a "twin" workout) "Whew! I haven't sweated this much since the last time I had sex!" Diane: "I gave blood to my sister one year for Christmas, because she treated me like water." Cowboy: "Well, don't get me wrong, because I could be wrong." Diane: "Drew will vote how I vote, but don't be shocked if he doesn't." Cowboy: "I'm going to have to take this bar trick on the road. To a bar." FINAL WORDS Marvin made a sign and put it over his bed. It said, "Thanks Fans! *Heart* Marvin"