TUNA NEWS -- SEPTEMBER 3, 2004

It's the day after AND the day before eviction day. If we could only put BB on Fast-Forward everytime we're stuck with cards or chess or anything involving Diane, this show would be so much more interesting. Regardless, here we are and here is what we know (some of this timeline is according to HGs, so take the information with a large grain of hair-dye) Friday, 6pm Hamster Time -- Drew Wins HoH Time between HoH and Nominations -- 3 Hours Friday, 9pm Hamster Time -- Drew Nominates Marvin and Diane Next Veto Competition -- Friday Morning Next Veto Ceremony -- Friday Noonish Next Eviction -- To be Aired Saturday Night GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN Marvin starts ripping on the twins, saying, "Well, as long as they aren't in here, I don't care. She kill me how she try to act all sanctimonious and high and mighty, when she came in here on a lie." Karen says the only other unanimous vote was for The Don in week one. "You can say what you want, but that's a statement." Marvin tells Karen, "She's gone now, so you can talk about her. She's not gonna beat you up now." TO THE VICTOR GO THE SPOILS Drew's HoH goodies include more Miami of Ohio stuff, letters from home, a fresh supply of Cheez-Nips (strategic flavor), BBQ Chips and Lip Moisturizer. In his letter, his brother Ben tells him, Keep your head on straight and your clothes on. PRE-NOMINATIONS, COWBOY-STYLE Cowboy goes into the HoH room and asks Drew, "Should I bother to unpack?" Drew asks him to stay in HoH and help him figure out who to nominate. Cowboy quickly says, "I really don't want to be a pawn this week." Drew says, "No way, dude" and then tells Cowboy he will never put him up. Drew suggests nominating Karen and Nakomis, feeling that Marvin could be eliminated later. Cowboy, still stinging from his crushing defeat from HoH several weeks ago is desperate for Marvin to be eliminated. He tells Drew, "I want him gone, and he wants me gone, and will get me out before one of them girls." SPEAKING OF MARVIN Marvin tells Diane, "Girl, you've got an ass like I've never seen!" Diane asks, "Like J-Lo?" Marvin says, "No. You're like one-fourth of J-Lo's huge ass." GreenTuna starts singing "Taco Flavored Kisses" and gets FISH. SPEAKING OF BOOTYLISCIOUS Drew is still stinging over Adria's departure and MFMarvin. He tells Cowboy, "I can't stand the way he reacted to her! She was leaving with dignity and he spoiled it." Wow. Were Drew and I in alternate universes, or what? SPEAKING OF BIBLE-LISCIOUS Karen admits that she has said enough bad words for a lifetime. She says, "Maybe we should have a group Bible study tonight!" Yes, that will drive away recappers by the cubit-load. SPEAKING OF TACO-FLAVORED KISSES As Drew interviews the parade of potential losers, he invites Diane to the Cheez-Nip Lair. Diane says, "My turn to kiss ass." Drew replies, "Kiss it! Kiss it!" Diane goes on to do her parannoy dance. She tells Drew, "Karen and Nakomis parannoy the hell out of me! I trust Cowboy more than I trust them." She also tells Drew that Karen told her that Adria planned to "attack everyone when she left." BAD STRATEGY - TAKE ONE Diane leaves her less-than-productive ass-kissing session with Drew and tells the girls, "I don't care about the money. I don't care if I win or not. I only want Drew outside the house!" BAD STRATEGY - TAKE TWO Diane cries to Nakomis and Karen, saying, "I want you guys to know, I'm not a bitch like this outside the house." AND THE WINNERS ARE Drew nominates Marvin and Diane, saying first that Marvin is a salesman and is a real threat in the house. Then he says, "Diane, I put you up because I thought you were someone I could trust. And sometimes you have people you think YOU can trust but can't...and it hit close to home. I hope you understand. " Diane says, 'Uh-huh." GreenTuna just says, "Huh?" POST-NOMINATION LETDOWN Diane: "I'm so tired of Drew blaming everything that goes on in this house on me." Drew: (Looking heavenward) "I hope I made the right decision." Jesus: "You're on your own, bro. I got a team that would be in first place right now if they would have only cut their hair. Now I have to come up with some cash. First loaves and fishes, now this. Why aren't people ever prepared?" COWBOY SONGS Verse 1 Marvin approaches Cowboy after nominations and tells him, "I need your help, Homey. I kept you in (the game) several times. I need your help." Cowboy tells Marvin not to give up. Chorus And then Cowboy beats a path for Drew and repeats the entire conversation. Verse 2 Diane, upset after her nomination, rants outside about Drew. She tells everybody NOT to use the Veto because she knows she's safe, and she wants to get Drew out next week. Chorus And then Cowboy beats a path for Drew and repeats the entire conversation. Bridge Cowboy tells Drew he is so much more of a man, and Drew is learning how to be one. Verse 3 Cowboy tells Drew what he did (with the nominations) was smart, because, "that's just what I would have done." Cowboy also says, if he doesn't win the next HoH, they are gone. Cowboy says if he is meant to win, he will win, but admits that if he does, he will cry non-stop. Chorus And then Cowboy rehashes the entire conversation. Coda Cowboy: "And this is just between you and me." Drew: "Of course, dude." WINK-WINK, NUDGE-NUDGE, SAY NO MORE Post-nominations, Drew and Diane talk in the HoH room. Diane asks Drew if he trusts her. Drew doesn't really respond. Diane pouts, "I feel like I'm talking to a different person." Drew asks Diane if she has any acting skills. Diane, just not getting it, says, "Do you think I would be on BB if I was? No, I'm not an actor." Then she says, "If you want me to act, I need to know what kind of show is going on. Is that what you want me to do?" Lucky for her Drew doesn't say, "It's the Diane is an IDIOT show!" Diane tells Drew, "Just say it!" Drew says, "I don't want to say it!" Then (because she STILL doesn't get it) he finally says, "Hopefully, by doing this, we won't seem so close. We need to stop sleeping together. We need to stop...whatever. Do you get what I'm saying?" Diane says, "I understand. I think." LAST ACTION HERO Marvin starts packing. Again. Very expertly. FINAL WORDS Marvin: (After listening to Karen's giggles) "I'm not going to miss that damn laugh."